Tuesday, August 07, 2007

hateful mail...

I gotta get this off my chest... so a'la Dooce I present you with a little forwarded gem that graced my inbox this morning.

I an very disappointed in your magazine for this issue.Why was it necessary
to sexualize that young child in your photos? If she was actually wearing
panties, that alone would have been egregious but to imply (visually) that she
is wearing nothing but a sexy top under your design is beyond the pale.It is an
indication of a mind lacking in any true creativity that you must depend on soft
porn to promote your designs. One third of all women have been sexually abused
by the age of 18 and you are doing what you can to raise that number by offering
this young lady as an object of lust. You should be ashamed of yourself. And
don't tell me that she wanted to be used in this way... you are supposed to be
the adults and taking care of her.I will pass my concerns on to others who may
care about children.


Wondering what was so offensive? It was this picture of my daughter. I assured Kerrie that I would not start an e-mail war with this woman. However, I can't just let it go.

First off, for her to imply that she is not wearing anything but a top makes me think that she needs to get her mind out of the gutter. Secondly, for her to think that I am presenting my daughter as an object of lust is beyond comprehension. Hell, I am doing everything I can, short of making her wear a burka, to prevent her being viewed as an object of lust. Thirdly, I am not ashamed in the least of my beautiful daughter or the picture. Perhaps it is just sour grapes on her part (maybe she is jealous of my ability to produce beautiful children while she is a troll). Fourth, I asked my daughter to choose what she wanted to wear with the top and those are the clothes she picked out herself. I do take damn good care of my kids- to the extent I home school them to prevent the horrors they might face in public school, so don't even imply that I am putting her in a position that is not safe or appropriate for a girl of her age. Finally, if she wants to pass her concerns to someone who cares about children she should send me an e-mail, since I care about my kids more than anyone. Poor, poor misguided woman- get your mind out of the gutter and find something productive to do with your time.

Edited to add: The picture was removed from the cover because of this well-meaning woman. So thanks alot for raining on The Girl Wonder's parade. I hope you are happy.

45 comments:

Diana C. said...

What a very strange response to that picture. There's nothing the least bit provocative about it.

I came to your blog from MagKnits, partly out of curiosity because I originally thought the pattern (from the picture) was for a child's sweater.

Very pretty pattern!

Katherine Of It All said...

I came from Magknits too. What an awful way to start your day, and I can only think how miserable the woman who wrote the email must be. The irony, to me anyway, is that the champagne dress actually is a bit provocative, but it's on the cover. I can't imagine looking at the beautiful shots of your daughter and thinking, "Child porn!!!"

rupestur said...

Wow. I think that picture shows a beautiful young girl wearing a sweater that I can't wait to knit up myself! How odd and highly offensive for someone to send you such a lewd email.

And really, this sweater is too sweet.

Kate said...

I too came from Magknits, just loved the sweater and I may knit it for my daughter.
You have a beautiful daughter, and be proud of her, some people are so negative to all things in the world, don't let them destroy your day.
Have a nice day.

Badger said...

It's a nice design and a pretty looking kid. Don't let people who clearly have there own unresolved issues get to you.

del said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nik said...

It really sounds like this woman is hypersensitive. When I saw it, all I saw was a little girl wearing a nice sweater with a tank underneath. nothing "pornish".

Found you through magknits. we're in the issue together :D I made Jenora.

Nice Job.

del said...

I had to delete my previous comment because maybe it was a bit mean & harsh, so let me try this again...

Amanda, I'm speechless. When you first presented Lemonade here on your blog, I saw that photo & as a woman who deeply cares for children, NO THOUGHTS at all about child porn or deviant sex or any of that went through my mind at all. It's a beautiful photo of a beautiful child. Period. I feel really sorry for anyone who would look at that picture & think anything else. I'm angry that MagKnits succumbed to the pressure & took your dd off the cover. I'm sorry some...one had to rain on your parade.

Katinka said...

I'm sorry that you received such a horrid email. :( Please don't let it taint the experience of having such a lovely original design published. All I see in the picture is a pretty girl wearing summer clothes (I've got a blonde daughter myself!).

"Lemonade" has immediately shot up to the top of my "MUST MAKE NOW!!!" list. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Yarn It said...

For crying out loud!!!! I have looked at the pictures for your pattern several times and not once did anything cross my mind as that woman suggested. I see a beautiful girl modeling a beautiful sweater that her loving mom designed. I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Try to get past it and celebrate the publishing of your pattern. You deserve a happy day!

Rachel said...

I found you from Magknits too - that response is completely crazy. It sounds like you realize that this person is totally off their rocker. I'm surprised that Kerrie (or whoever it was) took the picture off the front page of Magknits in response to this letter.

Anonymous said...

I was telling my mom this morning what a beutiful picture it was! I told her: this girl looks like a rose!
We only saw a beutiful pattern and a lovely girl, nothing more.
Don't worry, and forget that comment.
From: a mom of two girls
xo and bless you and your kid

Bronwyn said...

I think it's because you can't see her shorts in the photo, so it does look like she isn't wearing pants. However all the other photos you can see them, so I think it was just a misunderstanding on her part. While I feel sorry that she didn't investigate further and was so aggressive in her initial contact, I can't criticize her desire to protect children. She just missed the target by a huge margin.

Anyway, your daughter is a beautiful young girl (and I'm not that far out of that stage myself! ;) ) and the pattern is very pretty too. I hope something nice comes along today, to alleviate some of the negativity she sent you.

Donna said...

Unbelieveable. I thought the photo was beautiful, and so is your daughter. That pattern is my favorite from this issue of Magknits.

It's sad that someone can take something beautiful and innocent and try to turn it into something bad.

Persnickety Knitter said...

Yeah, I totally agree with the other comments. I saw that picture when you first posted it here and I didn't think anything bad about it at all. I think it just shows where some people's minds are.

Just try not to let this unfortunate incident ruin your excitement about having design published online. Try to stay positive. :)

Emilee said...

Wow, how baffling. I didn't find the picture scandalous at all.

Congrats on publishing such a beautiful design, it's too bad the experience was marred by this controversy.

Knot Another Knitter said...

Ignore her. I too just thought it was a beautiful picture of a beautiful child in a beautiful knitted garment.

I can see how, in this day and age, people can be over protective of their children but this woman just takes it to the extreme. I am very sorry for you that the picture was taken off the front page and I personally think it should have been left on there.

Keep your chin up and concentrate on the lovely comments your supporters have posted.

Lara said...

Good Gravy!

I just came over to tell you that this sweater is my favorite thing in this month's Magknits. Lovely! And I love that the pattern is written for such a wide range of sizes. Thanks for a beautiful pattern.

Your daughter is a beautiful model. I'm homeschooling my four kids for the first time this year, so I certainly know what you mean about keeping them close.

Andrea said...

Forget that lady. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I don't think there's anything wrong with the pictures. Your daughter is beautiful in them. Congrats on being published girl. I'm proud of you. Now, get to knitting. I want to see another design from you soon. =)

kerrie said...

I tried not to get any more involved but couldn't sleep so I think I'm now having your email war for you! I copied you in and hope that it will end here. I'm so sorry about all of this, and tell the girl wonder that I think she looks beautiful in all the photos. Also go and design more lovely garments that we can show off for you. x

piewacket said...

I came across your blog like many others form the magknits site. I was taken by the design of the sweater and thought it looked beautiful on the young lady in the photo. You should be really proud of having your design published, and being the mother of a beautiful girl. I can honestly say as a mother myself I saw nothing provocative about the picture.

heather said...

wow, that is WEIRD! sorry that woman's issues ran rampant over the lovely pattern you wrote. The picture that they replaced it with is nice & modest, (a terrific knit too!).

Suzanne said...

I love lemonade and thought I'd drop by your blog. I'm so sorry that your wonderful achievement has been dampened in this way. I love your pattern, your knitting is beautiful and so is your daughter.

Tasha said...

Um, WHAT? I don't get it. Congrats on being published & for making a terrific pattern that I can't wait to knit. I agree with everyone else - celebrate your victory & fooey on that sad woman - sounds like she has issues of her own.

Faerynuff said...

That is nuts. Your daughter looks beautiful and the cardigan is stunning. She looks as though she is dreaming of fairies...nothing provocative at all.

There really are some strange people out there.

Ingrid said...

I'm so sorry you got this absurd response from this woman, and I'm disappointed that Magknits decided to take your design off the cover.

I hope this doesn't put you off designing patterns!

Cass said...

Well, I've been reading your blog for a long while, and I know how you are about your kids. That email was way off the mark, even if it was well intentioned. It came off as rude and hurtful instead of concerned and thoughtful. It's a beautiful pic and nothing shameful about it. As a mom of 2 homeschooled daughters myself, I'm sensitive to such things and it never once crossed my mind that there was anything inappropriate. I hope that you and your daughter can enjoy the excitement of having your design chosen- for it's a beautiful design and a beautiful picture. You should be quite proud of both "designs"- the sweater and your DD.
{{{{hugs}}}}

Jodi said...

How awful for you and your daughter! The picture looks fine to me, and the sweater is absolutely lovely.

I suppose this isn't the best time to say this, but not all public schools are full of horrors. Mine wasn't perfect, but I was incredibly well prepared for college, and we went on great field trips, learned to cross-country ski and canoe on school grounds, and had a decent gifted & talented program.

Anonymous said...

It always seems to be the very people who say they are looking out for the kids - who OBSESS over every tiny detail that could be considered in any way pervy. To me, it's sort of unsettling..

Everyone with half a brain sees only a lovely young lady modelling a sweet pattern in those photos, and I'm disappointed that MagKnits would be so sensitive to the criticism of an obvious nutjob.

Don't let people like this poison the beautiful things in your life.

kemtee said...

Inappropriate my Aunt Fanny.

I shall never understand how some folks' minds work. But perhaps that's making an assumption in and of itself.

You keep on doing what you're doing and don't worry about criticism like that. Me, I'm off to select yarn for one of them there sweaters that your daughter is so fetchingly modeling.

Alex said...

I think Lemonade is soo cute! Great job on creating this wonderful pattern.

As far as your daughter, I think that the picture looks fine! And she is not wearing a "sexy shirt" underneath like the woman said, it's called a camisole (or tanktop, whatever you want to call it)! People wear them all the time for layering like in the photo or just by itself. So, I personally think the lady had nothing really to complain about.

Anyways, great job!

PlazaJen said...

I'm so sorry this happened. It's a shame - the photo, and your daughter, and the design, are all beautiful. At least you know she's a wackjob.

Heaven forbid she find my baby album & all those pictures of me in the bathtub.... good grief.

Valerie said...

Lending my support -- the picture is sweet and beautiful and I think anything suggestive was brought to the picture by the person viewing it. My sympathies to you and your daughter. And, CUTE pattern!

Rainey Day Knitter said...

Wow. The last thing I would have thought of in respose to the picture. I saw a lovely child in a beautiful sweater hand knit by her mom. Period. How unfortunate for you and your daughter to have experienced this very strange episode. It sounds like this woman is mentally unsound.

Kellie said...

Crikey, I work in the Corrections psychology field and am highly sensitized (some would argue oversensitized) to inappropriate materials and possible fodder for pedophiles and I had to scratch my head in confusion about which of the relatively innocuous photos I had seen in Magknits could be responsible for such a response.

Stay strong, you are a great mum of a gorgeous girl.

KrisSuthe said...

Your daughter is pretty, and you have every right to be proud of her. That being said, that top is gorgeous too. I'm sorry that some people actively look for the worse, but after looking at the other pictures at MagKnits, I have to wonder exactly what that woman was thinking.

Alyson said...

You have my sympathy - her approach was wildly inappropriate, and I can't imagine how angry it must make you as a parent to have someone accuse you of such reprehensible behaviour; I hate that she just assumed the worst about everyone who wasn't her. How upset you must be, and how unfair to your little girl.

Marnie said...

Wow, words cannot express my dismay. I really can't comprehend where this loony is coming from.

When i saw that picture, nothing struck me as seductive or sexual. I didn't register that what she was wearing was, in any way, scanty or inappropriate.

Her tone is beyond reprehensible. I can't fathom what sort of ugly and angry woman she has to be to come up with that interpretation of the image and to write that email.

It's additionally sad that she basically punished your daughter by getting her picture removed from the MagKnits homepage.

So sad to have to live with all that hate and ugliness inside.

The Gaming One said...

That email was really lame. Girl Wonder and Amanda, you are the best and I love you. Lame email woman, you suck and I hope you get a bad sandwich or something.

Diana said...

Love the pattern and will definitely knit it for my daughter.

BTW, I see nothing wrong with the photograph.

The Knitting Blog by Mr Puffy the Dog said...

You have a gorgeous daughter, it is a darling sweater, and the color suits her perfectly.

Dove Knits said...

I know I'm late jumping in and all, but jeesh. If anything, you are covering your kid up with a cute but stylish top, not exposing her. And why would anyone think she's not wearing any sort of bottoms? I'd've just thought she has shorts on. What on earth?

I love the design, btw, and your daughter is beautiful.

Stepho said...

I didn't even NOTICE your daughter's choice of shorts until I saw the drama on a knitting community. Some people have nothing better to do with their time than to go out of their way trying to find offense with things like that. Times sure have changed, I guess.

Furthermore, why was this person looking so closely at the bottom of the picture, when the picture was CLEARLY of a knitted top? Sounds awfully suspicious to me.

roxtarchic said...

i think the sweater & the headline "when life gives you lemons" is incredibly appropriate.. i'm SHOCKED that anyone could have looked at that picture and thought something so horrible... the patterns great & you should be very proud of yourself and your gorgeous daughter.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who knows anything links london about jewelry understands the hierarchy of precious links of london bracelet metals with platinum being atop it. links of london charms While many people pine for gold, platinum is more highly prized links of london watches by the informed. Platinum is an extremely rare, links of london rings even more so then gold which in part the reason links of london necklaces why it is considered superior.