Thursday, April 06, 2006

blog anxiety

Last week The Gaming One called me from work and asked me what my blog address was... my first response was panic, which I thought was quite odd...this is the man I love more than anything, we share everything-our foundation is blatant honesty. But for some reason I hesitated before I gave him the address.
Me: Uh...why do you want my blog address?
Him: I want to show the girls at work your knitting. (this is the moment that I remembered the comment about his mom liking cock)
Me: (inner voice-shit I wonder what he is gonna think) Aww that's sweet! here is is auntieamandaknits....
Him: thanks baby, love ya, see ya when I get home
after I hang up the phone I really sort of freak out - I mean, this is supposed to be my little place to put my musings about knitting, my personal thoughts and frustrations about daily life....this is not for my family to be reading (I have yet to come out to my family about my blogging habit)...oh god what is he going to think of his nickname, he is gonna think I am a moron... damn, not to mention he is going to show this to his co-workers, they are really gonna think I have problems...So strange that I do not mind total strangers peeping into my window, but am freaked about my own husband peeking in. Oh well, nothing cam be done about it now... but y'all know what? He was actually impressed! He said he didn't realize I had a talent for writing, that I was witty and funny! Plus he really got a kick out of his nickname! He thought that was so clever! Ever since he has been asking me if I "blogged about him today" it is so cute! After the fact I realized I had no reason to worry, after all he does love me more than anything and is very non-judgmental. Is it just me afflicted with this blog anxiety? Are there others out there that blog for strangers and not for friends and family? Here I can be myself, take it or leave it, and I really don't want Trucker Mamma reading my posts sprinkled with 'fuck'. When I was a teen at summer camp, I wrote a letter to my sister with quite a few profanities sprinkled here and there. Well, my parents READ THE LETTER! and when I arrived home after being at camp for a month they GROUNDED ME! They told me that if I wrote those words, I was probably saying them all summer and I knew that was not acceptable behavior and I was raised better than that blah, blah, blah. To this day I still will not say fuck in front of either of my parents (or my kids) even though it is my favorite of all the profanities- it is so versatile after all...fuck you, fuck me, fuck off, fuck it, what the fuck, get the picture. So if any of my family members find my little blog I am sorry if you are shocked-here I live out loud-no pretending, no watching my p's and q's...I promise I will continue to behave like a proper southern gal in public, but I am making no such promises for my blog.

Since this is a knitting blog would you like some knitting content? Ok, I just dropped the second row of stitches on MIL's clapotis. The knitting is going very quickly, and it is a calming knit and quite satisfying. The more I knit, the more I realize I really like this. It will be very hard for me to give away, and I see myself making one for myself. I have also finished most of the left front of the shaped jacket from Vogue Knitting that I frogged because I cannot follow directions. I am itching to start The Somewhat Cowl for Trucker Mamma, and the Silk Corset Top for myself, but I am really trying to resist the urge until I have at least one FO...I am still afflicted with the knitting ADD but am trying to direct my attention to the Clapotis and the Shaped jacket.

After all the March SEX I promised myself (and my credit card) that I would not buy any more yarn until I finished all the projects I have yarn for. Well, yesterday that temptress of a MIL told me she just heard of a LYS that she would like to go check out and wondered if I would like to go with her? Of course I agreed to go but I think I may just have to leave all the plastic at home-I am weak I tell ya! I know I would not be able to resist, especially if anything is on sale. Or maybe I can just knit around the clock and finish up all my projects...I have until after Easter, since she will be at her beach house until then. Who am I kidding? I will just have to be strong...and leave my purse in the car.


strangelittlemama said...

haaaa, I can totally relate. Even though my whole family knows about my blog, my dad doesn't read it and my in-laws know me well enough to know I have a trucker mouth, but for some reason when someone else reads it (like T's cousin, who commented the other day for the first time), it sends me into a minor tizzy!

Necia said...

OMG, you gonna make soda spill from my nose, fuckedy fuck fuck FUCK! hahahhahahaha. Noooooooooo, don't leave your purse in the car, the car might get stolen!

Hey Auntie, you think u can consider to set your blog up for anonymous comments (moderated) of course?


Stickchicky said...

I found you via necia's blog. Too funny. I kinda feel the same way about family reading my blog, although my sister's read it often( which is cool with me)I don't think they would understand how I could write about knitting. One of my sister's made fun of me for a month when I mentioned my dream vacation would be touring the Netherlands/Sweden/Norway etc on a knitting tour. She just doesn't get it.

Cutie said...

My family doesn't read mine, and I wouldn't care if they did- but of Mr. J's family (who all know I blog) only one person (by evil twin Emily, the other Emms) reads it but she swears more than I do!!! She loves my blog.

In fact, I feel mildy insulted that the rest of them don't read it, but I am a weirdo that way :D

I love your blog, it really cracks me up. I hope you don't change.

And Necia's right- don't leave your purse in the car- better to spend all you money on yarn than have someone else steal it and spend it all on something else!!!

Just thinking on my feet,


Persnickety Knitter said...

I know what you mean about feeling weird when people you know read your blog. And I can relate to what Emmie said about feeling mildly insulted when family members don't read it. Strange mixed feelings there.

Good luck with not spending any money at the yarn store. Those yarn sales are deadly. Where do you think all my stash came from? 90% of it was ON SALE!

Yarn It said...

That was a crack up. Some people understand my blog but my inlaws think it is weird and have no understanding of it what-so-eve...but then again, they don't understand me very well at all! My own family enjoys it and all I care about is that it is fun. I really enjoy reading your posts!